Create New Thread - Forum Options - Forum Index
Page - 1 2 3
2009-10 Quotacular Spectacular
RE:
Posted By Stephen on Thursday 18 February 2010 at 08:24 pm - Quote
Stephen: Is the fingering on a tenor horn the same [as on a trumpet]?
Chris Dickson: (pause) If you play it correctly... then yes.
Paul: Who's *********?
Chris Duffy: He's a w**ker.
Paul: Oh, I know who he is. No need to say anymore. RE:
Posted By SallieC on Thursday 25 February 2010 at 03:45 pm - Quote
Dave: What's that dance where you do the tango like 1..2..3..duh..duh..duh...?
Sallie: ...errrr...the tango. RE:
Posted By Stephen on Thursday 25 February 2010 at 11:44 pm - Quote
(After Mo has just announced that we are playing "Lord of the Rings" next)
Dave "5ft8" Brown: I really want to be a hobbit. If I could be anything, it would be a hobbit! RE:
Posted By SallieC on Monday 8 March 2010 at 02:03 pm - Quote
Dave: There's no way you'll ever get THAT in. not a chance it's going in.... i meant to me!!
...I think he was talking about throwing things in people's pints... RE:
Posted By SallieC on Monday 8 March 2010 at 02:03 pm - Quote
Dave: There's no way you'll ever get THAT in. not a chance it's going in.... i meant to me!!
...I think he was talking about throwing things in people's pints... RE:
Posted By Stephen on Monday 8 March 2010 at 03:43 pm - Quote
Sarah G: I really love Sallie's dress, I just want to take it off her right now.
Dave: [After learing of Stephen's hayfever] Does this mean that if I throw poppies in your face you'll start sneezing uncontrolably?
[People saying how Nigel would look more like the devil if he was painted red]
Stephen: Shall we dip Nigel in ketchup?
Cara: No, because then he'd be tastey
[Upon my return from the toilet]
Dan: I need to go and try to force one out before the second half.
Graeme: Please, you're in the house of God. RE:
Posted By SallieC on Monday 15 March 2010 at 02:23 pm - Quote
Sarah G: ...now it'll be all sticky for the next person who plays...
(the moustetrap game which had most parts put in jons pint that is...)
Sallie: I don't like it when you get bobbledy bits down there...
Nick:I don't get bobbledy bits down there, this is good quality stuff.
Finn: guys...you're not getting 'bobbledy bits' down THERE are you?!
(we were actually discussing wind band clothing and how it may, like all much loved clothing, begin to disintegrate after a few washes...)
Finn: I sit next to him at rehearsal. He ran his hand up my bone.
(TROMbone that is...)
Paul: If it gets any bigger, it won't fit anywhere...
(i don't even remember what he was talking about here...) RE:
Posted By Stephen on Tuesday 23 March 2010 at 11:05 am - Quote
Lisa: Oh no! Look, my ring's got a hole in it!
Stephen: That's where you put your finger through...
Dave [after seeing an advert at the cinema with free-running cats]: Cool, they're like cat monkeys! If I was a mad scientist there'd be so many things I'd want to do. Like make new animals. I'd like to cross a whale with a chicken. Imagine something that big being able to fly.
Stephen: Chickens can't fly, Dave.
Dave: Can't they? Oh dear... RE:
Posted By Sarah G on Tuesday 23 March 2010 at 03:33 pm - Quote
Chickens can fly can't they...? RE:
Posted By SallieC on Tuesday 23 March 2010 at 04:56 pm - Quote
not really. but imagine the eggs that beast would lay! RE:
Posted By Chris Duffy on Tuesday 23 March 2010 at 06:29 pm - Quote
Chris Duffy (for it is he): Can I stick my finger of fudge in your Creme Egg?
Sallie: Go on, but there's no much creme left in there.
Dave: You just can't get it in, Duffy, you just can't get it in.
Bertie: He's what, 75? He's too old for people to be throwing their underwear at him.
Chris Duffy: Yeah, Graham, stop throwing your knickers at Tom Jones.
Longbottom: Not even if I shit in them first?
Anon: I don't look at other women. I didn't look at her, I just fingered her in the toilets. RE:
Posted By SallieC on Friday 9 April 2010 at 03:53 pm - Quote
Dickson: Are you drinking that guinness with a straw?
Paul G: Yes, becaue I cant get it up-
Dickson:Can't get it up?!
(...a timely interruption by Dickson, I believe Paul was trying to say that he couldn't get the glass up to his top lip to drink due to moustache issues) RE:
Posted By SallieC on Monday 12 April 2010 at 05:38 pm - Quote
Cam: Anyone want a finger?
(Chocolate that is)
Cam: No one is touching my testicles...extra padding is required.
Dave: I think Dickson's drunk
Dickson: *taking a nose dive into Alex's lap* Fuckin' hell that's his crotch!
Shortly afterwards...
Dickson: *pointing to Alex's naked chest*...FUCK ME!
Dickson: Sallie, you just wankered me
Alex: SALLIE JUST WANKERED CHRIS!
Dickson: Fuckin' me!
*Dickson, once again, drops his head into Alex's crotch*
Alex: I love wind band RE:
Posted By Nick on Friday 23 April 2010 at 10:23 am - Quote
At the break in last Wednesday's rehearsal
Stephen (to me): Would you mind not sucking your lollipop in quite such a seductive manner! RE:
Posted By SallieC on Sunday 25 April 2010 at 03:55 pm - Quote
Charlotte: yes, if there's anything I look for in a man, that is it- Smelling of bacon.
(There you have it lads, the key to a girl's heart...)
Vicky (talking to Ewan Mac):We'll get you a dirty pint on tour
Cara: no, we'll get you a PROSTITUTE! =D
Vicky: Sarah needs help walking home
Sarah: I am perfectly capable *trips over pebbles*
Dave: Your cutlass is flaccid. RE:
Posted By Stephen on Thursday 29 April 2010 at 12:47 pm - Quote
Stephen: Sibelius, he was finnish wasn't he?
Mark: Yes, I think he may have been.
Stephen: I've got a friend from Finland.
Mark: You sound like David Cameron!
Who says EUWB banter can't be about anything sophisticated like politics? RE:
Posted By Sarah G on Tuesday 11 May 2010 at 10:21 pm - Quote
While trying to think of a particular porn star (don't ask!):
Lisa: David...
Sarah: Tennant?
Lisa: David Tennant's not a porn star...
Vicky (vehemently!): I wish he was!
Oh dear... RE:
Posted By Sarah G on Wednesday 12 May 2010 at 02:17 pm - Quote
While revising (in Teviot):
Vicky, reclining and sighing thoughtfully: '...muff.'
Apparently it was just a noise, but I think there may be something Miss Rigden isn't telling us! RE:
Posted By Stephen on Thursday 13 May 2010 at 05:46 pm - Quote
Sallie: I sometimes wish I was a man, because then i could sit all like this [opens legs and slouches] and no-one would mind as much.
(A few minutes later)
Sallie: I'd love to have a beard, at least then you;d have something to stroke while you're thinking in exams.
Dave: I hate Chris Martin.
Steve: 'Cause he called his daughter Apple and his son Moses?
Dave: He's got a son called Moses? I didn't know that. I'd love to be called Moses.
Steve: But imagine whatt he other kids would do to you at school.
Dave: Yea, but it would be so cool. Then you could stand up in the middle of class and just shout "I am Moses!".
Dave: But if I yank it off it's going to go everywhere!
[Carefully trying to pull his cup of tea out of an empty cup] RE:
Posted By Stephen on Monday 17 May 2010 at 03:08 pm - Quote
(After Duffy was first to be out at poker)
Dave: You might as well do some revision now, Duffster.
Duffy: [Picks up a copy of Loaded] No, I'd rather look at boobs.
Steve: You know how they say "Unlucky in luck, lucky in love"? Going by that last game, does that mean that my love-life is going to be completely shit, but then at the end become amazingly brilliant?
Dave: Just promise me, Steve. If you marry Angelina Jolie... *please* let me have a go! RE:
Posted By SallieC on Monday 17 May 2010 at 08:08 pm - Quote
Steve: OH! it looks like your muff has been beaten again! 2-1! RE:
Posted By Stephen on Sunday 23 May 2010 at 07:45 pm - Quote
Vicky: There isn't a boat in Monopoly!
Steve: OK, Sarah, is there a boat in Monopoly?
Sarah: Yes, it's the ship.
Vicky: But a boat and a ship aren't the same thing!
Sarah: What's the difference?
Vicky: SIZE!!
Nick: [Shouting at Cara and Vicky as they are leaving for the bar to buy Steve and Nigel's birthday pints] Wait! Do you have enough Soc Cards?
[Vicky accidentally hits Ewan on the head]
Steve: Kiss it better, Vicky
Vicky: No.
Steve: Vicky, kiss his head!
Ewan: I feel like the Pope... RE:
Posted By Stephen on Wednesday 26 May 2010 at 12:17 pm - Quote
Lisa: [Watching "The Island" where Sean Bean is beating up Ewan McGregor] It would be really disappointing to be killed by someone from Yorkshire...
Steve: We should have another round of Barbershop Dave.
Marc: Good idea. Who's going to start?
Steve: Let's see who's lower. Daaaaaaaaaave...
Marc: Daaaaaaaave... [much deeper]. Wow, that was low. I feel like a black man.
Dave: [After discussing Jennie's decline in being social with EUWB] She's like Iran. We can talk to her and pester her and impose sanctions and stuff, but it's not really going to make a difference, is it? Nothing's going to change. RE:
Posted By Sarah G on Thursday 27 May 2010 at 04:21 pm - Quote
While playing Monopoly...
Stephen: What pieces are there?
Vicky: The hat, dog, thimble, and... the stoat.
Stephen: Erm, that's a wheelbarrow. RE:
Posted By Lisa on Friday 28 May 2010 at 12:37 am - Quote
Stephen: God, you have no idea how terrifying it is to sit next to a person of larger shape on a rollercoaster. You have double jeopardy. Not only could you be squished, but the bar is nowhere near close enough to my body to save me from being hurled out of the carriage.. Antwerpen 2010 Tour Quotes Part1 - Steve's Lot
Posted By Stephen on Thursday 10 June 2010 at 06:56 pm - Quote
Dave: I am not cut out to be Paris Hilton. She goes out socialising all the time and making porno videos⦠I just wouldnât be able to do that
[Upon seeing Joe walking in with a whole baguette sandwich]
Steve: That is a manly sandwich
Dave: Itâs more than that, itâs Jesus in a bun!
Steve: Look at the height of that manâs waistline
Emily: His wife must have dressed him. Either that or his wife is dead
Oli: I donât think heâs ever had a wife
Dan: I feel quite excited about being inside the King of Scandinavia
[Playing Irish Snap]
Dave: Even one finger counts
Cara: Iâve never much liked sleeping with sheep
Dan: You just say what you want to hear
Beth: I know, and itâs all about ME!
Oli: As thereâs a silence again⦠PENIS!
Dave: I canât wait âtil Iâm an old man because then you can get everyone to help you with stuff and make you cups of tea. But I want to be a grumpy old man too, because I want to be able to hit people with my stick
Lisa: But if youâre grumpy people wonât want to help you
Dave: Hmmm, Iâll just be incontinent too or something
Dave: Steve, is that boat going to Germany?
Steve: I donât think so. Why?
Dave: But itâs got a German flag on the back
Steve: Thatâs a Belgian flag, Dave
Dave: But I thought the German flag was red, black and green tooâ¦
[Discussing Dave and his pilotâs licence]
Oli: How can they test for colour-blindness in pilots but not life incompetence?
[Whilst quoting Oli]
Steve: How do you spell âincompetenceâ?
Mo: I think Dave is a bit of a closet⦠something
Steve: Whatâs that on the windowsill?
Finn: Thatâs my pot of creamy goodness
[Chanting in the street]
Oli: E-W-A-N spells weird!
[Discussing Finnâs decision to wear his kilt for a night out]
Steve: Have you chosen your dirty socks over clean underwear?
Finn: I choose dirty over clean every time!
Steve: Thatâll be something to tell the grandchildren in 5yrs time
Jo: 5yrs?! Youâll have to get a move on then, Nick. [Points at Nickâs crotch] Go forth and prosper!
Steve: But I donât like lifts. How big are they?
Chris Dickson: Bigger than your bum!
Lisa: Are you going to give it to me carefully or are you going to just throw it at me and put it in my mouth?
Ross: Do you want one of your beers from the sink, Dan?
Dan: Whatâs left?
Ross: A brown one and a blue one
Dan: Give me a brown one, and get a towel to dry it with
Sallie: Thereâs more to being social secretary than just streaking
Lisa: I canât get up at the moment, Iâm in Rossâs crotch
Lisa [a Geography student]: Iâve got a friend from South Shields. No wait, actually heâs from Kent
Bob: Vibble, I am *not* youâre private porn show
One of the DFDS Cabaret men: [to Steven D] Thanks for last night (wink)
A message on an A1 matrix board: Frustration causes accidents RE:
Posted By Lisa on Thursday 10 June 2010 at 11:47 pm - Quote
Finn: *sneezes*
Nick: Bless you, Jesus! RE:
Posted By Chris on Thursday 17 June 2010 at 11:39 pm - Quote
Chris: Turn the page and I'll spank you
Finn: You'd make a good librarian
Dr. Nick: Shhhhhh!
Tallet: Dave loved my grandma & my grandma loved Dave. It was a mutual loving.
Tallet: I should be in bed
Dan: You shouldn't exist
Finn: Can Jews fight? Because I'd love it if they got the shit kicked in them by a rabbi.
On why their team won (not quite sure what...)
Vicky: We get around
Dave: I just love popping things
Bob: Sex on the beach is really expensive
Cara: I think something just got turned on
Cat: I'm not drunk, I'm concussed from the air conditioning
Rosie: I've not had sex in the shower
Bob: Yes you have... it may not have lasted long, but it definitely happened
Chris (to large grolsch bottle): Shhhhhh!
Cat (while stroking the air conditioning): Friend...
Cat: I know we're married now, it's ok, .... ow! ....
Cara: Make it longer so I can get it in
Steven Douglas: You've put it in the wrong hole
Tallet: I'm sorry, but I'd definitely do it in front of Sarah
Cat: It's fine, Joe has pictures of me like this
Cat: Joe, I'll actually buy you a drink if you don't put these on facebook RE:
Posted By Dan on Friday 18 June 2010 at 11:09 pm - Quote
Lisa: i was just talking to cameron (pointing at stephen). RE:
Posted By Stephen on Saturday 19 June 2010 at 01:44 pm - Quote
Lisa: [On Emile Heskey] Why is he playing? He's old. HE should be dead by now!
Dan: I was busy weeing, stop disturbing me.
Dan: It was a mutual orifice raping. RE:
Posted By Steven on Saturday 19 June 2010 at 02:36 pm - Quote
While Danny was stradling Stephen
Stephen: I feel dirty
Danny: Does it matter?
Talking about lisa
Stephen: Don't push it up the sides, thats the way she likes it RE:
Posted By Stephen on Sunday 20 June 2010 at 12:21 pm - Quote
Steve: Yo do know what this song [George Michael] is about, right, Ewan?
Ewan: No.
Steve: Sex in a public toilet.
Becky: [Pops her head up from the row infront] Is the toilet on the coach working yet? RE:
Posted By Stephen on Wednesday 30 June 2010 at 12:31 pm - Quote
Lisa: Flute is an amazing instrument. I can play it whatever my mouth is doing. RE:
Posted By - on Thursday 1 July 2010 at 02:58 pm - Quote
Dave: My first word was digger ... I was such a man-kid.
Dave: Do you never get into bed and invent your own dream, like "I wonder what it would be like if I was a cowboy".
Lydia: [Discussing dressing Marc as a pimp] Wow, that medallion really enhances your pecs
Dave: It's a giant massive egg! It's bigger than a chicken!
Dave: I don't have two ears!
Page - 1 2 3
Forum Index
Site Information
Webmaster: Chris Harrison. Publicity handled by Tom Skinner and Chris Harrison.
Forum Created By Alex Bunting
Page design © Dougal Stanton, 2004. Find out more about the website.
This page was designed to comply with standards: XHTML 1.0 Strict and CSS 2.